Day 2: Describe 3 legitimate fears and how they became fears.
I’m not sure when it became my fear to fail, maybe somewhere in high school between tenth and eleventh grade when I first started realizing that I had bullshitted my way through high school and if I didn’t get my act together I would not be graduating. The reason I fear failure however, is because I don’t want society to view me as a failure; a silly reason because society will view me however it pleases and may still view me as a failure even if I become very successful. The biggest reason I am afraid of failure is because I don’t ever want my children to have to look at me and see that I did not do what I set out to. How can I look my daughters in their eyes and tell them “You can achieve anything!” yet I have not achieved my own goals?
2.) The unknown
Most people would say that they fear, the dark perhaps. The fear, in reality, is not the dark; The fear is not knowing what is in the dark with them. The unknown literally sends me into anxiety attacks and hyperventilation. I am a planner! I absolutely hate when things do not go according to plan because at that point I no longer know what to expect. The unknown is full of so many different things that could harm me (emotionally, physically, mentally.) I’m just not a huge fan of the unknown
Some might view this as an odd fear, irrational even. I fear being disappointed because I’ve to often experienced in my short 22 years of life. I think the exact moment that disappointment because one of my fears is when I realized that every single time my biological father or biological maternal grandfather would promise me something, I would never get what they promised; regardless if it was just spending time with them or them coming to visit me, the promise was always broken. I am twenty two years old and to this day my grandfather has yet to come visit me.