Blog Challenge, Day 2

Day 2: Describe 3 legitimate fears and how they became fears.

1.) Failure

I’m not sure when it became my fear to fail, maybe somewhere in high school between tenth and eleventh grade when I first started realizing that I had bullshitted my way through high school and if I didn’t get my act together I would not be graduating. The reason I fear failure however, is because I don’t want society to view me as a failure; a silly reason because society will view me however it pleases and may still view me as a failure even if I become very successful. The biggest reason I am afraid of failure is because I don’t ever want my children to have to look at me and see that I did not do what I set out to. How can I look my daughters in their eyes and tell them “You can achieve anything!” yet I have not achieved my own goals?

2.) The unknown

Most people would say that they fear, the dark perhaps. The fear, in reality, is not the dark; The fear is not knowing what is in the dark with them. The unknown literally sends me into anxiety attacks and hyperventilation. I am a planner! I absolutely hate when things do not go according to plan because at that point I no longer know what to expect. The unknown is full of so many different things that could harm me (emotionally, physically, mentally.) I’m just not a huge fan of the unknown

3.) Disappointment

Some might view this as an odd fear, irrational even. I fear being disappointed because I’ve to often experienced in my short 22 years of life. I think the exact moment that disappointment because one of my fears is when I realized that every single time my biological father or biological maternal grandfather would promise me  something, I would never get what they promised; regardless if it was just spending time with them or them coming to visit me, the promise was always broken. I am twenty two years old and to this day my grandfather has yet to come visit me.

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A non-Thanksgiving Holiday

This year, I’m just not feeling the whole “Thanksgiving” thing. Don’t get me wrong, the idea of the holiday itself is cool, I know I’ll probably receive a lot of criticism for saying the idea is cool. Let me explain, I feel that we should be thankful and recognize the blessings we receive more than just ONE day out the entire year. I’ve never really been a big fan of Thanksgiving simply because I feel like its a holiday for stuffing your face. People have all but erased the original purpose of Thanksgiving, by replacing the thankfulness with football and food.

This year for Thanksgiving nearly everyone in my family has to work. With that being said we will be having a small thanksgiving “dinner” in the early afternoon before everyone has to go to work, and then I’ll be spending the rest of the day with my three kids, niece, and older brother. The moment I get home and get the girls in bed, I plan to begin decorating for Christmas. I am more than excited for Christmas this year, having kids is more exciting than being a kid on Christmas in my opinion. I can’t wait to see the look on Jadae’s face when she gets to open her presents this year. Next year will be even better since all the girls will be old enough to open their own presents.

Blog Challenge Day 1: Uncovering Me

Today is day 1 of the blog challenge! Yes it’s true, I must be just a little conceited since I am more than willing to do a blog challenge where I talk about myself for 30 days; nothings wrong with just a little conceitedness right? Well even if there is something wrong with it, there’s nothing wrong with a little self-discovery so we’ll just call it that! I’m not gonna lie, I’m just a little hesitant to even begin this challenge for two reasons: Having young kids makes it hard to get things done and with me being the type of person that just needs to finish what I start, I will need to be prepared to deal with the sleep deprivation that will come with this challenge; Reason number two, do I really want to know that much about myself, will I like what I find out about myself or will it change who I am entirely?

I post often so my hopes are to actually get this done in thirty days, but with this being the time of year to spend quality time with the one’s we love it may throw a curve ball in my plans.

And here we go with Day 1: List 10 random facts about yourself

1.) I am my parents only daughter which automatically deems me princess and entitles me to be spoiled rotten!

2.) When I was little my brothers were making fun of me so I wrote a runaway note explaining to them how bad they hurt my feelings and told them I was running away back to Denver. I got about a block and a half away from our house then ran back home and hid in the back yard for hours. When I finally went inside they just laughed at me!

3.) I’ve been homeless

4.) I battle Depression Disorder

5.) I have very few female friends, the majority of my friends are guys but I always wished I had a best friend that was a girl so we could have a friendship like the one’s on TV where we would do pretty much everything together!

6.) It’s extremely hard for me to forget something you’ve done once you hurt me.

7.) I am so much stronger than I appear to be.

8.) I could literally eat rice everyday!

9.) I’m emotional

10.) My life is like a twisted fairy tale.

Forever away

Today is Joe’s “friday” at work, yes I know it is literally Friday but what I mean by that is, he’s off for the next few days after today. Of course Joe decided that he just needed to get away from home AGAIN and go to his moms for the weekend, a bad habit that has been going on for quite some time now. Nearly every off day Joe has is being spent away from the girls and me. I often try to explain to him that he’s only at home when he has to work, which is bad since he works second shift it really means he’s only home to sleep. 

It makes me feel like he doesn’t want to be here period and if that is the case, I’d much rather him go ahead and be gone. I don’t like that he doesn’t spend more time with the girls since honestly the only time he spends QUALITY time with them is an hour, maybe a little more before work – and if they are awake after. Then he scurries off on his rest days to go party with his friends and family, forgetting the family we made and leaving us home alone. He doesn’t see this as such a big deal, I wonder how much of a big deal it will be to him when the girls are older and explaining to him how he was rarely around. Oh well, I guess that’s something he’ll have to deal with alone. I just find it funny since he often tells me that I don’t do much for the girls since I am a stay at home mom. He’s crazy out of his mind obviously because he doesn’t understand just how hard the job of being a stay at home mom, especially one of three kids under the age of 2, can be! 

Potty Training Challenge Day 1

I decided to go ahead and start our challenge today! For day 1 I will be putting Jadae on the potty every 15 minutes, that may seem a little excessive but she drinks lots of juice throughout the day and hopefully we can make it ALMOST accident free today. The challenge started at 2:oopm central time. I will be updating this post every 15 minutes and doing a wrap up post at the end of our night.

2:00 – Put Jadae on the potty, she sat there put did not use the potty. She then wiped herself, got down, flushed the toilet then pulled her pants up and washed her hands.

2:15 – Jadae sat on the potty again, this time she went just a little. She then wiped herself, flushed the toilet, pulled up her pants, then washed her hands.

2:30 – I was changing JaNiyah and didn’t realize it was time for Jadae to be sat on the toilet, she had an accident at 2:34 due to my horrible timing. When she had the accident she immediately started crying and trying to take her pants off. This shows that the challenge is working even if it’s just showing her the difference between wet/dry.

2:45 – Jadae was eating, I checked her but let her continue to eat since she hasn’t been wanting to eat lately. No accident!

3:00 – Jadae went and sat on the potty. Released some gas in effort to poop but didn’t actually use the potty! She tried and we celebrated the attempt.

03:12 – Jadae ran to me holding herself, I dropped everything I was doing (blogging) and rushed her to the bathroom. Again, she tried to poop but was unsuccessful. The important thing here is that she’s realizing that she may have to go and is at least attempting nearly every time!

03:22 – Accident! Jadae had accidentally wet herself outside the bathroom door. She was attempting to go on her own

03:30 – Jadae went to sit on the potty, but didn’t use it. At this point I think she’s only enjoying trying to go so that she can wash her hands. She loves playing in water.

03:32 – More juice

03:40 – Accident; again she wet herself but this time she was not even attempting to make it to the bathroom, she was distracted by trying to wake her little sister up!

03:45- Attempt but not successful also tried to force her baby doll to use the potty as well.

04:00 – Sat, didn’t go, wiped and washed hands

04:15 – accident

04:30 – attempt, not successful

05:00 – okay who am I kidding, it’s extreme to update this every single times she uses the potty. From here on out I’ll only be updating if she successfully uses the toilet or she has an accident.

A very non-traditional Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving hasn’t been a very big deal in my family for a few years now. As the children in my family (including myself) grew up and moved away, we lost sight of our traditions. I was hoping that since now I am grown and have my own family we could start our own traditions, but Joe had to work today.

Our thanksgiving was spent alone, just me and the girls. My mom came over for about 3 hours this morning, but it was just to check on us and make sure everything was okay since, once again, me and Joe had been arguing all night resulting in my hand going through a window. Since my hand was pretty sore and cut up, I didn’t cook much of anything today. In fact, I didn’t cook at all, I microwaved. I figured it was just me and the girls, Jadae wouldn’t eat a full “thanksgiving” meal and the twins are just hardly eating solids, so I took the easy way out. I made me and Jadae pizza rolls and fed the twins their bottles and some apple sauce.

This was my very “non-traditional” Thanksgiving, I honestly think I appreciated it more with less. I didn’t have the distraction that many mothers had this year with doing all the shopping, preparing, cooking, ect. so I could spend all that time to enjoy what I have. My life is far from perfect but I surround myself with positive, loving people. Joe and I go through a lot but I love him and I’m not sure what I would do without him. My girls are my soul, simply put – There is no doing without them. My mother and brothers, they’re my foundation – Sometimes we forget how sturdy our foundation is because we’re to busy enjoying everything else, but when everything/everyone else fails, we still have our foundation. God – I am so thankful for all the blessings I have received: the ones that I may never be aware of, the ones I know about, and the ones I have yet to receive but most of all I am just thankful for belonging to Him.